Twenty Tips For Muslims

by guest poster Wake Up

Some tips for our Muslim neighbors in how to live in the West.


1. Don't take advantage of your host's generosity to learn how to fly state-of-the-art aeroplanes into buildings, in the name of an absurd belief system for which there is no empirical evidence, and which is completely at odds with the culture in which you now purport to want to live; (and while we're at it, understand that the twin towers only went down because of their exoskeleton construction; had they been built differently, they would have remained standing and your lunatic "martyrs" would have killed only a few more people than themselves - essentially, the operation was actually a failure).

2. Find the grace to admit that the migrant flow is inexorably East to West because the West is a better place to live, but that you don't yet understand why that is so.

3. Find the humility to ask questions about the New World, instead of fixating on Allah and the past.

4. Stop providing fuel for the West's more rabid right-wing Christian bloc; between you, you are setting up yet another religious war that sane people can see coming and feel powerless to stop.


5. Either stop regarding the West as the Great Satan, or go back home and stop dancing with the Devil.

6. Fatwa yourselves to death at home all you like but leave us alone (incidentally, where is your "home"?); it's a sad religion that can't handle a cartoon or a book, and to us, fatwas are a pain in the arse and a sad joke.

7. Get it through your heads once and for all that the only person who can blaspheme is a person who already believes in what he is blaspheming; everyone else is entitled to say whatever they like. And while we're on this topic, let me explain free speech: it means that not only can we call ourselves stupid white men if we deserve it, we can call you stupid brown men if you deserve it.

8. Face up to the fact that you simply aren't equipped to understand freedom of speech; your arguments against it are sophomoric and adolescent and just make you look insecure and ridiculous.

9. Treat your women better, and in the Muslim countries that practice female circumcision, stop it NOW, of your own volition; don't leave it to us and Waris Dirie to have to continually campaign against it - we never committed this atrocity in the first place.

10. Stop trying to import repugnant customs like the above into the West - you've gone too far already, aided by weak, thoughtless apostates in the West.


11. Stop bitching about the West from INSIDE the West; the only reason "multiculturalism" is being attempted here is because the free speech, democracy, stability and generosity of our advanced culture is willing to give it a try (probably foolishly). You come from countries where it's not even a twinkle in anybody's eye, so be grateful you've got as far as you have, and shut up.

12. Learn from the education available to you in the West, it's the best in the world - take your blinkers off.

13. Stop trying to "destroy" the West. First, being only human and prone to error (like all humans, including you), we are quite capable of doing that ourselves, and if we succeed, the world (also including you) will be the poorer for it. But what we are doing is NONE of your business, and we'll fix it ourselves, thanks very much. Second, if we become more resolute (which I admit is moot at the moment), you won't win - which we know and you don't.


14. Start THINKING instead of REACTING - I know it's hard to break bonds, but that's the process that made the West the Modern World.

15. Your “we will kill you” is not an appropriate response to our “hey, you guys have got it wrong”.

16. Marching and rioting in our streets, using our freedom of speech to call for controls on our freedom of speech where your beliefs are concerned is deeply hypocritical, and shows that you still don’t GET IT.


17. Try to understand that there was no such thing as "Islamophobia" until you brought it on yourselves with the religiously obsessed insanity of 9/11, the ridiculous Salaman Rushdie fatwa, the grand guignol over the cartoons, the disgusting murder of Theo Van Gogh, and the London bombings, which were beyond contempt. All of which took place in the West. It might help if you collectively apologised for all the above, but even then you've got a lot of ground to make up.

18. If you must have a religion, try to find one that celebrates life instead of death.

19. Stop blaming America for your not being able to get your act together. You once led the world in advancement, then you let negative religiosity set you right back again - while America became a beacon of hope to the oppressed everywhere. The Statue of Liberty says "Give me your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free". Which of your own "home" countries has that written on the door? NOT ONE. (As someone said: "America: 50 million illegal immigrants can't be wrong.").

AND FINALLY:

20. The only thing preventing you integrating, accessing and succeeding is your own insular, anachronistic, incompatible-with-modernity-and-individuality belief system. Ditch it, and stop being hypocritical about why you are in the West, or go home. YOU are the (imported) problem.