Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Lost Bush E-Mails




Millions of e-mails that were thought to be lost from the Bush Administration (Bush 43 not his father) have been recovered.  Various left-wing groups went to court to recover the e-mails (with the hope of bringing criminal charges against George W. Bush), but their hopes for that outcome were dashed when the e-mails were placed in the National Archives and will not be opened for 50 years (Some pesky law written during FDR's Administration keeps such papers locked up that long.  Damn those liberals!)

I do have a good source at the Archives who allowed me to glimpse the majority of these e-mails.  They say this:
From: mohamed bulus [mailto:ahmedbulus@zdnetmail.com]
Sent: August 19, XXXX 6:38 AM

Subject: proposal private and strictly confidential

from: Alhaji Ahmed Bulus

dear sir,

I am Alhaji Ahmed Bulus, an accountant general with the nigerian national petroleum corporation (nnpc), and also the chairman of contract award committee (cac). i was well informed of your stronghold in business over the years, an incentive that induced me writing you to seek your ability at sustaining the conclusion of a pending transaction for our mutual benefit.

We have put in place instrument of payment for US$32M (THIRTY TWO MILLION US Dollars only), which is now in a dedicated account with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). The above fund came from the over-invoicing of contracts awarded to a consurtium of foreign firms in 1994 for the construction of the Eleme/Chemical and Liquefied Natural gas plant in Port-Harcourt worth US$1.2 Billion. The contract has been executed and the original contractors paid in full. Hence, the US$32M in question is therefore free to be transfered overseas upon proper application without any risk whatsoever.

IN THE COURSE OF DISCHARGING MY DUTIES,I DISCOVERED THAT SOME GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS IN THE PAST, COMMITTED SOME IRREGULARITIES IN THE FORM OF OVER INVOICED CONTRACT VALUES WHICH EVENTUALLY GO INTO THEIR PRIVATE BANK ACCOUNTS. WHAT INTERESTED ME MOST AND FOR WHICH REASON I AM WRITING YOU IS THAT THIS PARTICULAR CONTRACT WAS AWARDED TO A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR WHICH WASOVER ESTIMATED TO THE TUNE OF US$32million(thirty two million dollars) IN OUR RECORDS HAS BEEN COMPLETED AND COMMISSIONED. THIS CONTRACTOR HAS RECEIVED FULL PAYMENT FOR THE CONTRACT EXECUTED FOR MY CORPORATION, LEAVING BEHIND THE SUM OF US$32million WHICH REPRESENTS THE OVER ESTIMATED CONTRACT VALUE CURRENTLY LYING AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

BECAUSE OF THE HASTE WITH WHICH THE LAST GOVERNMENT WAS REMOVED FROM OFFICE, THESE MEN HAD NO CHANCE TO COLLECT THIS MONEY BEFORE LEAVING OFFICE. BUT AS A RESULT OF UPDATED PAYMENT ADVISE AT THE CENTRAL BANK, IT HAS BEEN AWAITING TRANSFER TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT. IN MY REPORT, I RECOMMENDED THAT THIS FUND SHOULD BE PAID BUT ON THE CONDITION THAT THE CONTRACTOR SHOULD BE INFORMED.

MY RECOMMENDATION WAS ACCEPTED AND THERE WAS A MANDATE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE FOREIGN CONTRACTOR, BUT SINCE THE CONTRACTOR HAS BEEN FULLY PAID FOR THE JOB, I NOW WANT TO DIVERT THIS MONEY TO ANOTHER FOREIGN ACCOUNT.

Due to the nature of accrual of this fund, it has to be applied for by a foreign contractor/company and payment can only be made into a foreign account hence this contact is necessary to accomplish this deal. You (or your company) shall be compensated with 30% of the amount as the account owner, 5% shall be used for the reimbursement of all expenses that will be incurred by both parties during the course of this financial transaction.

The remaining 65% is for us.

We shall urgently require of you the following by fax or email:

1.Name, Telephone and/or Fax Numbers of beneficiary

2.Name, and full address of the company.

3.Complete particulars of the bank account where you wish the funds to be transfered. This should include the account number, bank, address, the telephone, fax and telex number of the bank.

My colleagues and I have had some fruitful discussions with relevant top officials of both the Federal Ministry of Finance (FMF) and the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) and they have agreed to cooperate with the transfer. An application for fund transfer shall be made at the appropriate Ministries in favour of the beneficiary (you or your company). Thereafter, your company shall be officially regarded as having executed the contract for the Nigerian National Petroleum company (NNPC) for which payment is being made.

This process makes the operation legal and according to the law of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

however, before further details of this laudable transaction will be revealed to you. i must be convinced of your integrity, transparency and honest, because this is highly, business transaction that requires someone with experience, exposure and more than average means of livelihood. please treat this transaction as strictly confidential as we are civil servants who would not want any exposure.

Be expecting your soonest reply. PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH MY PRIVATE TEL/FAX NUMBER 123-4-555-5555 Email: ahmedbulus@zdnetmail.com AND I WILL FURNISH YOU WITH THE FULL DETAILS OF THE TRANSACTION.

Best Regards.

ALHAJI AHMED BULUS

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