Thursday, December 24, 2009

He Is Coming To Town...

And once again NORAD will be tracking him.

NORAD started tracking Santa in 1955, when by accident (or was it?) the special phone number set up to call Santa by a local Sears turned out to be that of CONAD. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief's operations "hotline." The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check the radar for indications of Santa making his way south from the North Pole. Children who called were given updates on his location, and a tradition was born.

Each year the men and women of NORAD, their families, and volunteers man the Santa Tracking Desks through out the day of Dec. 24th until Santa safely returns home to the North Pole.  And for those mean, grinch Moonbats, no federal or military funds are used to track Santa.  So you idiot, Santa-hating liberals need not worry about your tax dollars being spent on a "religious" event.  There are plenty of Santa-loving corporations who love to sponsor,and do this yearly event.  I can give you some guesses on who will be getting lumps of coal in their stockings.

Some Really Cool Facts About Santa's Sleigh:
Designer & Builder: K. Kringle & Elves, Inc.
Probable First Flight:  Dec. 24, 343 A.D.
Home Base:  North Pole
Length:  75 cc (candy canes) / 150 lp (lollipops)
Width:  40 cc / 80 lp
Height:  55 cc / 110 lp
Note: Length, width and height are without reindeer
Weight at takeoff:  75,000 gd (gumdrops)
Passenger weight at takeoff:  Santa Claus 260 pounds
Weight of gifts at takeoff:  60,000 tons
Weight at landing:  80,000 gd (ice & snow accumulation)
Passenger weight at landing:  1,260 pounds
Propulsion:  Nine (9) rp (reindeer power)
Armament:  Antlers (purely defensive)
Fuel:  Hay, oats and carrots (for reindeer)
Emissions:  Classified (Suspected to be Organic in nature.)Climbing speed:  One “T” (Twinkle of an eye)
Max speed:  Faster than starlight

NORAD has been keeping the United States and Canada safe since May 12, 1958.
The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is a bi-national United States and Canadian organization charged with the missions of aerospace warning and aerospace control for North America. Aerospace warning includes the monitoring of man-made objects in space, and the detection, validation, and warning of attack against North America whether by aircraft, missiles, or space vehicles, through mutual support arrangements with other commands. Aerospace control includes ensuring air sovereignty and air defense of the airspace of Canada and the United States. The May 2006 NORAD Agreement renewal added a maritime warning mission, which entails a shared awareness and understanding of the activities conducted in U.S. and Canadian maritime approaches, maritime areas and inland waterways.

To accomplish these critically important missions, NORAD continually adjusts its structure to meet the demands of a changing world. The commander is appointed by, and is responsible to, both the U.S. president and the Canadian prime minister. The commander maintains his headquarters at Peterson Air Force Base, Colo. The NORAD-U.S. Northern Command (USNORTHCOM) Command Center serves as a central collection and coordination facility for a worldwide system of sensors designed to provide the commander and the leadership of Canada and the U.S. with an accurate picture of any aerospace threat. Three subordinate regional headquarters, located at Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska, Canadian Forces Base, Winnipeg, Manitoba, and Tyndall Air Force Base, Florida, receive direction from the commander and control air operations within their respective areas of responsibility.

The NORAD Tracks Santa Operations Center is fully operational beginning at 4:00 a.m. MST on December 24. You can call 1 877 HI-NORAD (1 877 446-6723) to talk directly to a NORAD staff member who will be able to tell you Santa’s exact location!

Yes! On December 24, you can send an email to A NORAD staff member will give you Santa’s last known location in a return email.

Yes Santa Claus is coming and the men and women of NORAD, various members of the world's Air Forces and millions of children will be tracking him through out the night.

Merry Christmas To All!


WomanHonorThyself said...

SWEETEST HOLIDAYS to u my friend..big NY hugss!!! xoxoxox

Anonymous said...


Holger Awakens said...


Merry Christmas to you and your family!

p.s. it looks like even the Christmas "bot" has showed up at your blog to celebrate the Holiday! hahaha

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yep. Merry Christmas to all, and lots of happiness in the New Year, still, NORAD could come up with the true story of area 51.

cary said...

Findalis - Merry Christmas to you and yours!

David Ben-Ariel said...

I just wish folks wouldn't get angry and hateful when they're informed Christ was NEVER in Christmas! They should be happy to know the truth and let it set them free. The "mass of Christ" is nothing but Saturnalia in Christian drag!

Why Satan loves Christmas
By Wyatt Ciesielka
Most people dismiss the commercialism, the pagan influence, or the impossibility of a December 25 birth, and take comfort in slogans such as “Put Christ back in Christmas.” But, would true Christians feel comfortable celebrating Christmas if they understood that you cannot “Put Christ back in Christmas” because Christmas is founded upon Satan worship?

cary said...

David, what YOU fail to realize is that most Christians understand that we are celebrating the BIRTH of Christ - not the actual BIRTHDAY of Christ.

Yes, it's on a date that was a Pagan holiday. Name three days on today's calendar that WEREN'T pagan holidays.

Merry Christmas, David.