Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Day 16!

I almost lost it yesterday. The cravings and the pain from this addiction was so great that I almost ran out and bought a pack of idiotsticks. That is exactly what they are. For only an idiot would want one. And at one time, 16 days ago, I was that idiot!

I realize that I will always want a smoke. That is the nature of addictions. But I can never allow myself to give into the desire. I have to resist this desire every minute of every day. There will never be a time in which I can let myself go back to the idiotsticks.

But I am not alone in this. I have family and friends rooting for me. They are on my side, helping me along. And G-d is there with me. Not carrying me through this, but guiding me through the rough parts and guiding me on the path of righteousness.
I remember Psalm 46:

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
And I leave with this to inspire you:

Fleetwood Mac - Don't Stop

Monkey in the Middle is now a

1 comment:

Holger Awakens said...


You can do it! Congrats on going for it.

6 years ago I quit - 4 packs a day at that time...so i guess now is where I insert: "if i can do it, you can do it!" LOL

Seriously, it's not easy but I am rooting for you in spirit here.