Saturday, January 15, 2011

Saturday Morning Funnies #13

Lucky #13

Bombs Away!

This week's Latma TV

The UN and Muslim nature and a trailer for a new horror film

Not all prisoners are kept behind bars.

This will make you wonder what they were smoking.

Spock Sings of Bilbo

Rules for a Gunfight

by Anonymous

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap - life is expensive.

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your musket."

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them.)

19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gun fight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with anything smaller than "4".

25. You can't miss fast enough to win.
 Mossad is everywhere.

Saudis Discover Captive Vulture is Not a Mossad Spy
The Saudi government has freed a bird it first declared was a vulture and a spy for Israel's international Mossad intelligence agency. Now it claims it's an eagle and free to go.

Prince Bandar Bin Saud Al Saud, the country's “expert” on nature, has cleared the “culprit” of all charges after a week in which Saudi Arabia provided merriment for media around the globe.

The story began when the bird was caught by a local hunter in a remote part of the Saudi desert. Because it was wearing a GPS transmitter and leg bracelet engraved with the words “Tel Aviv University” the creature immediately became a suspect in an international espionage plot.

One week later, Prince Bandar stepped in to clarify matters and accuse the Saudi media of “irresponsible reporting.”

The prince ordered the release of the bird, which he identified as a bald eagle, and explained there was no question the bird was no spy.

“These systems are fitted to birds and animals, including marine animals. Most countries use these systems, including Saudi Arabia,” Prince Bandar told Saudi media, according to Emirates 24/7. “We have taken delivery of this bird but we will set it free again after we [have] verified its systems...

However, it is not at all clear how the prince came to the conclusion that the bird actually is a bald eagle. A blogger on the My Pet Jawa website commented it was odd that a bald eagle would be found in Israel.

A reader on the site also pointed out that bald eagles do not appear on a list of falcon and eagle species in Israel. “My guess is Prince Bandar is confused,” Hetz Shahor wrote.

“I kinda feel sorry for the guy considering he's an entire ocean away from his natural habitat,” wrote “Howie,” a U.S. resident blogging on the issue. “Anyway, I guess the Israelis can have one as our (sic) are going pretty well... And find him a mate, dammit.”

Tel Aviv University uses vultures in the study whose hapless participant soared adventurously over the border only to be accused of being a spy and then misnamed a bald eagle.

Full Story

The Bald Eagle---Now flying over the skies of Saudi Arabia!

Israeli Sharks Attack

Here is one of those heartless America soldiers you read about. You know the ones who rape small children, kill every civilian they see!

Cruel and Heartless!

Have A Great Week!!!!

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