Saturday, April 4, 2009

Humor For A Shabbot Morning


Just a bit of humor to brighten up your day.


Not just a door for cats.



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From Jewlarious

The Jewish Fire Department

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink it exploded into flames. The alarm went out to the fire departments from miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.

As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed entirely of menschen over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine operated by this Jewish Fire Department passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant.....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside the other firemen watched as the Jewish old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Jewish old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Jewish fire fighters.

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Abe Hertzfeld, the 70-year-old fire chief, "the foist thing ve're going to do is fix the brakes on that feshtunkena truck!"

Government Motors commercial revised...





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Another bit of humor from Jewlarious

In the Name of Love

It's Morty and Rivkah's 50th wedding anniversary and to celebrate, their son Aaron invites the close family to a Golden Wedding dinner at his house. During the evening, Aaron gets very emotional every time he hears his dad call his mom by such endearing terms as ‘darling', ‘petal', and ‘sweetheart'. It's clear to Aaron that his parents are still very much in love.

While Rivkah is out the room, Aaron goes over to his father, kisses him and quietly says, "Dad, I'm so pleased for you both. I think it's fantastic that after 50 years you're still calling mom by those loving pet names."

But Morty, looking very embarrassed, says, "Things are not always what they seem to be, son. I must tell you the truth - I forgot your mother's name about five years ago."
Joe FREAKING Biden! (Featuring Rainman)



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Have a good week!

2 comments:

Faultline USA said...

Loved them - now that's great! Especially Government Motors - more true than funny.

MathewK said...

LOL

Love the one about the fire truck.