Saturday, February 28, 2009

The War On Toilet Paper!


I have to wonder what some people have to do with their time. There are just some individuals that are so obsessed that someone somewhere might be enjoying them self. That they try to run everybody's lives. These are the food police, the pc police and now the toilet police. These self appointed guardians of our lives are trying to take out the simplist pleasures from it. Take this little ditty:
That super-soft toilet paper you're fond of using? It's an ecological disaster, environmentalists say.

Millions of trees are harvested throughout the Americas – including rare old-growth forests in Canada – to sustain the United States’ obsession with quilted, ultra-soft, multi-ply toilet paper, the New York Times reported.

Although toilet paper manufacturers could produce products from recycled materials at a similar cost, the newspaper reported, the fiber taken from standing trees are necessary to help give the tissue its fluffy feel.

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council told the Times.

Their Suggested Toilet Paper.
We could all go back to using corn cobs instead you know. It is ecologically sound, works well and would help save the trees.
The United States is the largest market for toilet paper in the world, the newspaper reported, but tissue from 100 percent recycled fibers makes up less than 2 percent of sales for at-home use among conventional and premium brands. People from other countries throughout Europe and Latin America are far less picky about what they use to wipe.
I'm sure they are. Have they even experienced the wonderful softness of American toilet paper? The pleasure it gives one as they wipe? And if they ever did, would they willingly go back to the old sandpaper they were using? I think not!
“This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous,” Hershkowitz told the Guardian newspaper, which cited the chemicals used in pulp manufacturing and process of cutting down forests.

“Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age," Hershkowitz said. "Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.”
Not quite. One can plant trees, one cannot plant a Hummer. If you plant a tree, you will help to clean the air. If you plant a Hummer, you only get rust. For every tree that is cut down, how about planting 3 in return. That would help wouldn't it?
However, hope is on the horizon, if Hollywood is any indicator. The Times reported the Academy Awards ceremony last weekend used 100 percent recycled toilet paper at the Kodak Theater’s restrooms.
That explains the upsurge in lotion sales after the award ceremony. And I thought it was due to something else. My mistake!

If this Moonbat thinks that Americans are going to buy a product that is triple in price than its non-environmentally sound competitor, that has the look and feel of sandpaper, and is not what they are used to? He is in for a rude awakening. There are many things Americans will switch for, but rough sandpaper toilet paper is not going to be one of them.

Ultra-white and soft, the way American toilet paper is suppose to be!

So now prepare. A war on what you will use on your bottom has begun. I would suggest stocking up on tons of the stuff now. For in a few years, it will be illegal to buy, sell or use the wonderfully soft kind.

They always get the idiots in State Houses to do stupid things like that.


10 comments:

Maggie Thornton said...

I remember Sheryl Crow vowing to use only 1 sheet (one little square, I think it was). She was laughed off the planet.

We can't use corn cobs. You know what that does to the price of tortillas.

One fly-over of just America alone, shows the folly of believing that we have a shortage of trees. Papers producers have been planting replacement trees in huge numbers for each that is cut down. We have more trees in this country than ever before.

These people continue to babble-on. It's the only way they can get attention.

Claire said...

Yeah, these people need to get a life.

I remember the Cheryl Crow thing too. I kind of want to puke a little. I mean I don't even know how much toilet paper my husband uses and we have children together. Why does Cheryl C think I want to know her toilet paper habits? Ugh. Too much information people!

Ayrdale said...

Mr M. you have obviously not seen Wallywop Family Wipes, the green (or is it brown) alternative to loo paper.

read all about it at...

http://mickysmuses.blogspot.com/2009/02/living-green-sustainable-lifestyle.html

Findalis said...

Ayrdale, does it cost 3 times what the real stuff costs? In these trying times, cost matters.

And dear gentle truthseeker, it is Mrs. M. I am a widow, and female too boot.

Findalis said...

Tell me David, have you ever used a bidet? I have and it is no fun. Try going to a public bathroom and then having to dry yourself off after a public bidet. What fun.

I don't particularly like walking around with a wet ass, do you? Plus, if it comes from Oprah's show it is bound to be a stupid idea. That show is the epitome of stupidity.

CyberPastor said...

" “No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council told the Times."

I wonder if this was the only way this person could make the "news".

And I nearly rolled on the floor when I read your response to David. I've never had the "pleasure" of a bidet, but I think I will just continue with my 3-ply Ultra Thick Charman.

David said...

Have I ever used a bidet? Hmmm, try every day for more than 5 years and somehow I and the entire Thai population manage to do do so without walking around with a wet bum. I know it is difficult to change and so dismissing Dr. Oz' logical and obvious observation is easier than having to think or deal with something new. But you are free, like a lemming, to stay the course wherever it may lead you. Good luck.

Findalis said...

Being a man you probably only would use toilet paper once or twice a day, with your primary use of the facilities being done standing up. But try to see it from a woman's point of view.

We use the facilities over 15 times a day, sitting each time. Now imagine the water use for women who would have to use a bidet 15 times a day. In some places, there are severe water shortages. What would we use then?

Then you mention wiping on a towel. Is that a cloth towel or a paper one. If it is a paper towel you defeat your purpose. And the ecological problems (not to mention the health ones) with cloth towels are just as bad. By the way, have you ever tried to get human blood out of a white towel? It is not an easy thing to do. Plus is this cloth towel used only once? If not, why not? I would think the health issues stemming from feces being on a towel and then being used by multiple individuals would out way the so-called tree factor.

For the record, the logging industry saw the problem with deforestation 50 years ago and decided to work against it. For every one tree they have cut down, they plant 3 in its place. And they have been doing this for 50 years. I do not advocate the cutting of old growth forests, but today's foresters are and have been on the leading edge to insure that we have trees for the products we need. Otherwise by now, there would be no forests at all.

Dr. Oz won't bring that up, maybe somebody should remind him.

Oh and I do not work for the logging industry, but know many people who do.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Some folks are known to manage without TP - like ones that wouldn't use their left hand for a handshake in any circumstances save the one where they want to insult you ;-)

David said...

Findalis, if you are using the facilities 15 times a day you need to see Dr. House...quick! Being a man I have a girlfriend and so I don't need a great imagination, I just watch her and she loves the bidet sprayer and can't imagine how people get clean without one. She doesn't exactly take a shower with it so I think you are adding more to the water shortage more with your 15 flushings then she is with her 5 sprays. And as for the comment about feces on the towel you have obviously never used a bidet sprayer and you simply don't know what you're are talking about. And I am the only one who uses my towel, quests use toilet paper, much smaller amounts but yes still toilet paper. And blood on the towel? What has that got to do with a bidet sprayer? Stay on subject and try to make sure you know what the subject is before you comment on it like an expert. Nice quote from the logging industries propaganda but if you check the records on virgin tree cutting used for super soft toilet paper you will find the new growth is not keeping up with how much they are cutting down, sorry.