Humor For A Shabbot Morning

Hat tip to A Little Levity

Martha Stewart Versus Me

Martha's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, f or Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!


Martha's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My Way
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.


Martha's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring t he baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

My Way
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.


Martha's Way
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

My Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'


Martha's Way
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My Way
Celery? Never heard of it!


Martha's Way
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

My Way
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.


Martha's Way
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My Way
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! 'All' your pains go away.


Martha's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My Way
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


Martha's Way
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

My Way
Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

Have a Good Sabbath!