First They Came For My Charmin

While the Moonbats on the left will not support the War on Terror, The War in Iraq, The War in Afghanistan, they do support whole heartily the War On Toilet Paper.

Yes they are back!  This time they are blaming Global Warming on Soft Toilet Paper.

"They'll take my Ultra Soft Charmin only when they pry it from my cold, dead, aloe-smelling hands."

Highly doubtful it will come to that. Please, sit.

We're talking about toilet paper. Charlton Heston's famous vow was of guns.

The issue over tissue in the bathroom — the really super-soft stuff — is more like the fight about the big SUVs loved by many Americans.

Anti-green, according to environmentalists. Politically incorrect. Why should Americans use luxurious toilet paper made from old-growth trees when much of the world gets by with a far more basic and often recycled product?

Why should we flush redwoods, so to speak?

Why not? Why should we suffer like the idiots in Europe, South America, and Asia.  Perhaps they should insist on soft, pillowy toilet paper too.

So Greenpeace, the Natural Resources Defense Council and other environmental groups have pushed manufacturers such as Kimberly-Clark (Cottonelle) and Procter & Gamble (Charmin) to stop using wood from virgin forests to make tissue products.

Mountains of paper are dumped every day into recycling bins in homes, offices, factories and schools. Use that to make toilet paper, the activists said.

Time to roll off the big number: If each American family would buy one recycled roll just one time, it would save 400,000 trees, allegedly.

The problem, though, is that each time paper is shredded during the recycling process, its fibers get shorter. The shorter the fiber, the less soft the tissue. And Americans, though indicating in surveys that they embraced green initiatives, also said they don't want to sacrifice comfort.

"The truth is that other parts of the world are further along in using recycled content," said Kay Jackson, spokeswoman for Kimberly-Clark. "The American consumer still wants softness, and they are speaking with their pocketbooks."

Pulling back in a competitive market is asking a lot, manufacturers said. They also point out that only 5 percent of forest-industry production goes toward toilet paper.

Darby Hoover, a senior resource specialist with the Natural Resources Defense Council, understands the pressure of customer demand but wonders: Do we really need toilet paper to be as soft as it can be, or do we need it just soft enough?

Environmentalists said other countries — particularly in South America, Africa and Asia — seem to be OK with "soft enough."

They know no better!

Greenpeace has come up with a "toilet paper guide," which looks at recycled content and the use of chlorine bleaches.

The actual toilet paper Greenpeace now suggests.

"When you're doing your grocery shopping or just stopping by the corner store to grab a roll of toilet paper, make an informed decision as both a consumer and someone concerned about the world's ancient forests," the guide advises.

Probably no surprise that brands with names such as Green Forest, 365, Earth Friendly, Natural Value and Seventh Generation scored the highest on the Greenpeace scale.

Bringing up the rear: Charmin, Cottonelle, Angel Soft and, of course, Quilted Northern, which sounds thick enough to keep someone warm on a cold night in Minnesota.

Some manufacturers said they were taking steps to become more environmentally friendly. More wood is from sustainable forests, and they are trying to up their recycled content.

Critics, though, such as Natural Resources Defense Council senior scientist Allen Hershkowitz, point out that many of the reforms apply only to the professional market — schools, businesses, theaters, stadiums and restaurants.

Home is another tissue. There, many Americans insist on the pillowy soft of virgin fibers.

Lisa Jester at P&G said the company was committed to the environment and took seriously its responsibility to help ensure sustainability of the world's forest resources.

"All the fiber we use comes from sources that practice sustainable forestry," she said. "That means that the trees are regrown or replanted and the soil, water and biodiversity are protected."

Environmentalists said old trees were being cut down when recycling alternatives exist. And it's not just about trees, they said. It's about carbon dioxide and ecosystems necessary to wildlife.

"The large old trees are the ones that do the most good," said Bill Grotts, head of the Heartland Tree Alliance, which is part of Kansas City's Bridging the Gap.

"They absorb the most water because they have more leaf area and provide the most cooling effect."

To him and others, that's the bottom line.

I have done some checking and although the old growth forests do absorb a great amount of CO2, so does any mature forest.  It is not just the old growth trees that are great at absorption.  There is an idea of using artificially constructed trees to soak up CO2 at higher rates than old growth forests.

The Shape Of Trees To Come!

I just cannot see anyone writing beautiful poetry about that?  Just imagine what it could be like:

I think I shall never see a poem as lovely as the steel, wire, and plastic CO2 collector.

Just doesn't do it for me

And the suggestion that David gave me when I wrote The War On Toilet Paper is typical of idiot Moonbat thinking:

Save Trees? Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Get serious and add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off” Available at www.bathroomsprayers.com with these you won't even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off!

Don’t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without felling guilty. It's cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You'll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. And after using one of these you won't know how you lasted all those years with wadded up handfuls of toilet paper. Now we're talking green and helping the environment without any pain.

Funny how men decide how women should use the toilet.  Unlike men, women do not urinate standing up.  So we would be either walking around with wet undies or drying ourselves with towels.  Thus defeating the purpose of why toilet paper is not good for the enviroment.

It is strange that Dr. Oz would be defending the use of the bidet only.  And strange that the bidet is the only approved method in the Islamic world.  And further strange that Dr. Oz is a Muslim.  Just a bit strange isn't it.

Here is some information that I guess Dr. Oz didn't learn at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.  Men urinate standing up.  They can sit down, but in general they urinate standing.  No real usage of toilet paper.  Women urinate sitting or squatting down.  For a woman to urinate standing up, she would need more than a bidet, she would need a shower.

Cloth towels are unsanitary at best.  Can you imagine the germs living on those things?  And the expense of washing them?  I wonder if David or Dr. Oz ever tried to get blood out of a towel.

I find these idiots at the extreme end of the enviromental movement.  I can say this with extreme pleasure due to the orders my oldest child gave me concerning the type of toilet paper that is allowed in the house:

"At least 2-ply and ultra-soft!"

This from my environmental, ultra-liberal daughter who yelled when I brought home the cheap, 1-ply stuff.

She knows what she wants, and to hell with Greenpeace!

Safe For All Tokhes!

The War On Toilet Paper!

I have to wonder what some people have to do with their time. There are just some individuals that are so obsessed that someone somewhere might be enjoying them self. That they try to run everybody's lives. These are the food police, the pc police and now the toilet police. These self appointed guardians of our lives are trying to take out the simplist pleasures from it. Take this little ditty:

That super-soft toilet paper you're fond of using? It's an ecological disaster, environmentalists say.

Millions of trees are harvested throughout the Americas – including rare old-growth forests in Canada – to sustain the United States’ obsession with quilted, ultra-soft, multi-ply toilet paper, the New York Times reported.

Although toilet paper manufacturers could produce products from recycled materials at a similar cost, the newspaper reported, the fiber taken from standing trees are necessary to help give the tissue its fluffy feel.

“No forest of any kind should be used to make toilet paper,” said Dr. Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist and waste expert with the Natural Resource Defense Council told the Times.

Their Suggested Toilet Paper.

We could all go back to using corn cobs instead you know. It is ecologically sound, works well and would help save the trees.

The United States is the largest market for toilet paper in the world, the newspaper reported, but tissue from 100 percent recycled fibers makes up less than 2 percent of sales for at-home use among conventional and premium brands. People from other countries throughout Europe and Latin America are far less picky about what they use to wipe.

I'm sure they are. Have they even experienced the wonderful softness of American toilet paper? The pleasure it gives one as they wipe? And if they ever did, would they willingly go back to the old sandpaper they were using? I think not!

“This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous,” Hershkowitz told the Guardian newspaper, which cited the chemicals used in pulp manufacturing and process of cutting down forests.

“Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age," Hershkowitz said. "Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.”

Not quite. One can plant trees, one cannot plant a Hummer. If you plant a tree, you will help to clean the air. If you plant a Hummer, you only get rust. For every tree that is cut down, how about planting 3 in return. That would help wouldn't it?

However, hope is on the horizon, if Hollywood is any indicator. The Times reported the Academy Awards ceremony last weekend used 100 percent recycled toilet paper at the Kodak Theater’s restrooms.

That explains the upsurge in lotion sales after the award ceremony. And I thought it was due to something else. My mistake!

If this Moonbat thinks that Americans are going to buy a product that is triple in price than its non-environmentally sound competitor, that has the look and feel of sandpaper, and is not what they are used to? He is in for a rude awakening. There are many things Americans will switch for, but rough sandpaper toilet paper is not going to be one of them.

Ultra-white and soft, the way American toilet paper is suppose to be!

So now prepare. A war on what you will use on your bottom has begun. I would suggest stocking up on tons of the stuff now. For in a few years, it will be illegal to buy, sell or use the wonderfully soft kind.

They always get the idiots in State Houses to do stupid things like that.