Bill Clinton and Megan Kelly?

Along with Obama's apology to South Korea, Romney's Etch-A-Sketch, Obama's Magic 8 Ball, the climbing debt and most importantly Tim Tebow and New York.

Brought to you by Newsbusted.

To E:  THIS IS SATIRE!!!!!!

Humor For A Shabbot Morning

President Clinton and Saddam

President Clinton visits Saddam Hussein to talk about the UNSCOM inspections in Iraq. As he sits down he sees three buttons in the armrest of Saddam's chair.

When Saddam sits down, Clinton immediately asks, "Why the three buttons in the armrest?"

"You'll see," says Saddam.

After 10 minutes, Saddam presses the first button and WHACK, a boxing glove hits Clinton in the face. Clinton grabs his nose while Saddam just laughs.

Clinton manages to remain calm until, after another 10 minutes, Saddam presses the second button, and another boxing glove hits Clinton in the stomach. While Clinton's gasping for air, Saddam falls out of his chair from laughing. Clinton is highly annoyed by now, but remains outwardly calm.

After another 5 minutes, Saddam presses the third button, and from under the table another boxing glove hits Clinton, this time right in the crotch. Clinton is really fed up by it now and breaks off the talks. "We'll continue this next week in the White House," says the President.

Saddam has tears in his eyes from laughing, and can only nod in agreement.

As agreed, Clinton receives Saddam in the Oval office a week later, and as Saddam sits down, he sees three buttons in the armrest of Clinton's chair. As the meeting goes on, Saddam sees Clinton press the first button and immediately ducks, but nothing happens. This doesn't stop Clinton from laughing ... really loud.

Clinton continues where he left off, and after a few minutes presses the second button. Saddam again reacts instinctively, and this time it's Clinton who falls out of his chair laughing.

Saddam is totally bewildered, and wonders what the hell is happening. But no harm has come to him, so he retakes his seat and the talks continue.

After a few more minutes, Clinton presses the third button. This time, Saddam doesn't even flinch, but stays in his chair as though nothing unusual is taking place. Clinton, however, is rolling on the floor, doubled over from laughter. Saddam is not only bewildered-now he is angry. He springs to his feet and shouts, "I've had enough of this, and I’m going back to Baghdad!"

Through tears of laughter, Clinton says, "Baghdad? ... ... What Baghdad????

Have a great week!

Bill Clinton: Bought and Paid For

Is it no wonder that Bill Clinton is starting to sound more and more like Dhimmi Carter. After all $10 million does wonders for your outlook, especially if it comes from the Saudi Royal Family.

Bethlehem – Ma’an – Former US President Bill Clinton said on Tuesday that he is hopeful about peace between Israel and Palestine.

Speaking with the US-based Cable News Network (CNN), Clinton said the appointment of US Senator George Mitchell was a step forward in the prospects for a two-state solution.

Asked by interviewer Larry King about “any chance of the Mideast having peace,” Clinton responded that Mitchell will have to “fill in the blanks” in negotiations between both sides, “however the Israeli government is constituted.”

Clinton also warned that Israel is running out of time it wants to remain a Jewish state.

“Palestinians are having more babies than the Israelis. The Israelis have to decide whether they want to share the future in a positive way with a constructive Palestinian state,” Clinton said.

“And if they [Israel] don't, then they'll have to disenfranchise the Palestinians living outside of old Israel, pre-'67 Israel, and they won't be a democracy anymore. Or they will let everybody vote and they won't be a Jewish state anymore. That hasn't changed,” he said.

“The other thing that has happened that's really better now is the external environment is so much better," he insisted.

"The king of Saudi Arabia and I think more than 20 other Muslim countries in the whole Arab Middle East, with the exception of Syria, has been out there strongly supporting a peace process,” he noted.

“[The Arab League] will urge the Palestinians to sign it. [They] will help them succeed economically. [They] will relocate them,” Clinton said of the Arab Peace Initiative, which was first presented by Saudi Arabia in Beirut during 2002.

“Now, therefore, I think there's hope, and I don't see what the alternative is,” the former US president added.

How convienent for the Arabs. They don't have to solve their own problem. They are the cause of the so-called Palestinian refugee problem, they didn't even want to solve it 60 years ago when they should have, and now they force it on the Jews.

Not this time. Not now. Not ever. NO LAW OF RETURN! NO 2-STATE SOLUTION! Nothing! They offer nothing to Israel. A false promise of peace. When will the Palestinians give up terror? Never. They have never renounced terror once in the last 100 years. Why should they? Obama will try and force a settlement on the Israelis.

My advise to Israel is simple. They scream genocide every time you strike back, next time wipe them off the face of the Earth. Then they really will have something to scream about.

The mistake made 15 years ago.

Marking the Oslo Mistake

Ron Breiman

Fifteen years have passed since the most dangerous and painful shift in the State of Israel’s history. On September 13, 1993 the Osloite Israeli government decided to recognize that the Land of Israel is not our country, that the Palestine Liberation Organization is not a terror group, and that “peace” is more important than Zionism. In the wake of the agreement signed with surrealistic joy on the White House lawn, Israel’s erosion and decline got underway both in terms of its internal cohesion as well as the faith in the Zionist vision.

The purpose of this article is not to claim “we told you so,” but rather, to prevent a repeat of the same actions, whose results come as no surprise for those who did not celebrate the festival of peace and to a large extent were mourners among the revelers in September 1993.

The common and proper perception is that embarking on war requires internal cohesion and national agreement on the need for such war and its objectives, even in cases where the objectives were not clearly defined. This was the case in the War of Independence, in the Six-Day War (the disagreements emerged years later and did not undermine the war’s justness,) and in the Yom Kippur War. Without these conditions, the management of the war and its outcome would have been marred.

This is true when it comes to peace as well. Peace cannot be achieved by means of coercion and violence, but rather, must be secured through persuasion. When we embark on a peace process without national agreement, and when the process is premised on false assumptions on the one hand and on undermining both the Zionist vision and the civil and property rights of hundreds of thousands of citizens on the other hand, the process cannot succeed.

Even if there is no one answer to the question of what constitutes success, the schisms created within Israeli society in the past 15 years are a direct result of a process whose leaders did not see before them the damage it causes, or alternately, they did see it and knowingly disregarded it. The road from there to the moral decline that peaked with “disengagement” was short. These days we see a heated-up debate regarding the balance of power between the various branches of government, with many of those taking part in the debate siding with the High Court of Justice, which is supposed to protect minority rights. However, in the “disengagement” affair, which is the continuation and result of Oslo, the High Court failed to adhere to its role as a defender against arbitrariness and aggression. The result was a moral decline that was manifested through the Gaza expulsion and an erosion of the public’s faith in the courts and law enforcement establishment.

Another result of the 15-year-old process, which started with recognizing a terror group and disregarding its objectives, was the blurred distinction between enemy and lover, to the point where those who backed the process forgot and made us forget that an enemy is an enemy is an enemy. This distortion undermined the IDF’s ability to fight it and led us to treat Jews as an enemy. This is how IDF and police forces were trained ahead of carrying out the expulsion, but their inappropriate psychological preparation is a matter for a separate article; this is how they conveyed to the enemy a sense that Israel’s ability to defend itself had been eroded. And so, Nasrallah justly characterized Israel as a spider-web state.

The fatigue of our leaders, rather than public fatigue, later prompted a desire that their unreliable partner, whom they relied on to stay in power, would reconcile itself to signing a shelf agreement. The implication of such agreement is an Israeli abandonment of the heart of the country and its capital, as well as of the Zionist vision that was in place before we had a “Green Line,” “territories,” and “occupation,” and was not limited by this line.

Indeed, beyond the 1,500 “peace victims,” the process’ main damage is the undermined faith in the Zionist vision and its justness. This crisis is manifested in the education system, defense establishment, the media, and the legal system, and it requires an urgent change of direction and a return to the common denominator that used to be in place in the nascent State of Israel: Aliyah and settlement.
We, the graduates of the autumn of 1993 are saying this:

You promised a dove
And an olive branch
You promised peace at home
Yet you brought
disagreements and disputes
You promised spring and blooming
Yet you brought expulsion and uprooting
You promised to deliver on pledges
Yet you sold us illusions

You promised a dove
Yet you brought “peace” which is both war and disgrace
Do not evacuate us
Evacuate yourselves from power
And instead of the vision of “peace”
We shall return to Zionism and to Zion

From Monkey in the Middle:

On September 13, 1993 the then Israeli government signed an agreement with the PLO basically giving away their nation. This agreement known as the Oslo Accords was a one-sided, flawed document that if given the right conditions, the nation known as Israel would cease to exist. President Bill Clinton praised this document, saying that it was the road map to peace. When in fact it has been a disaster from day one. It was suppose to be null and void the first time a terror attack occurred in Israel, but both Bill Clinton and George Bush have forced Israel to honor this worthless piece of paper instead of chucking it into the trash and going back to their old methods.

It is time that the world and more importantly both Israel and the United States see the folly that was the Oslo Accords and chuck them into the trash. For they did not and will not work. For the Oslo or any Accords to work, the Palestinians would have to want and believe in a 2 state solution, they do not. The Charter of the PLO and Hamas both state that.

From the PLO Charter:

Article 1. Palestine, the homeland of the Palestinian Arab people, is an inseparable part of the greater Arab homeland, and the Palestinian people are a part of the Arab Nation.

Article 2. Palestine, within the frontiers that existed under the British Mandate, is an indivisible territorial unit.

Article 3. The Palestinian Arab people alone have legitimate rights to their homeland, and shall exercise the right of self-determination after the liberation of their homeland, in keeping with their wishes and entirely of their own accord.

Article 4. The Palestinian identity is an authentic, intrinsic and indissoluble quality that is transmitted from father to son. Neither the Zionist occupation nor the dispersal of the Palestinian Arab people as a result of the afflictions they have suffered can efface this Palestinian identity.

Article 5. Palestinians are Arab citizens who were normally resident in Palestine until 1947. This includes both those who were forced to leave or who stayed in Palestine. Anyone born to a Palestinian father after that date, whether inside or outside Palestine, is a Palestinian.

Article 6. Jews who were normally resident in Palestine up to the beginning of the Zionist invasion are Palestinians.

From the Hamas Charter:

Article Eleven: The Strategy of Hamas: Palestine is an Islamic Waqf

The Islamic Resistance Movement believes that the land of Palestine has been an Islamic Waqf throughout the generations and until the Day of Resurrection, no one can renounce it or part of it, or abandon it or part of it. No Arab country nor the aggregate of all Arab countries, and no Arab King or President nor all of them in the aggregate, have that right, nor has that right any organization or the aggregate of all organizations, be they Palestinian or Arab, because Palestine is an Islamic Waqf throughout all generations and to the Day of Resurrection. Who can presume to speak for all Islamic Generations to the Day of Resurrection? This is the status [of the land] in Islamic Shari’a, and it is similar to all lands conquered by Islam by force, and made thereby Waqf lands upon their conquest, for all generations of Muslims until the Day of Resurrection. This [norm] has prevailed since the commanders of the Muslim armies completed the conquest of Syria and Iraq, and they asked the Caliph of Muslims, ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattab, for his view of the conquered land, whether it should be partitioned between the troops or left in the possession of its population, or otherwise. Following discussions and consultations between the Caliph of Islam, ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattab, and the Companions of the Messenger of Allah, be peace and prayer upon him, they decided that the land should remain in the hands of its owners to benefit from it and from its wealth; but the control of the land and the land itself ought to be endowed as a Waqf [in perpetuity] for all generations of Muslims until the Day of Resurrection. The ownership of the land by its owners is only one of usufruct, and this Waqf will endure as long as Heaven and earth last. Any demarche in violation of this law of Islam, with regard to Palestine, is baseless and reflects on its perpetrators.

Article Twelve: Hamas in Palestine, Its Views on Homeland and Nationalism

Hamas regards Nationalism (Wataniyya) as part and parcel of the religious faith. Nothing is loftier or deeper in Nationalism than waging Jihad against the enemy and confronting him when he sets foot on the land of the Muslims. And this becomes an individual duty binding on every Muslim man and woman; a woman must go out and fight the enemy even without her husband’s authorization, and a slave without his masters’ permission. This [principle] does not exist under any other regime, and it is a truth not to be questioned. While other nationalisms consist of material, human and territorial considerations, the nationality of Hamas also carries, in addition to all those, the all important divine factors which lend to it its spirit and life; so much so that it connects with the origin of the spirit and the source of life and raises in the skies of the Homeland the Banner of the Lord, thus inexorably connecting earth with Heaven. When Moses came and threw his baton, sorcery and sorcerers became futile.




Article Thirteen: Peaceful Solutions, [Peace] Initiatives and International Conferences

[Peace] initiatives, the so-called peaceful solutions, and the international conferences to resolve the Palestinian problem, are all contrary to the beliefs of the Islamic Resistance Movement. For renouncing any part of Palestine means renouncing part of the religion; the nationalism of the Islamic Resistance Movement is part of its faith, the movement educates its members to adhere to its principles and to raise the banner of Allah over their homeland as they fight their Jihad: “Allah is the all-powerful, but most people are not aware.” From time to time a clamoring is voiced, to hold an International Conference in search for a solution to the problem. Some accept the idea, others reject it, for one reason or another, demanding the implementation of this or that condition, as a prerequisite for agreeing to convene the Conference or for participating in it. But the Islamic Resistance Movement, which is aware of the [prospective] parties to this conference, and of their past and present positions towards the problems of the Muslims, does not believe that those conferences are capable of responding to demands, or of restoring rights or doing justice to the oppressed. Those conferences are no more than a means to appoint the nonbelievers as arbitrators in the lands of Islam. Since when did the Unbelievers do justice to the Believers? “And the Jews will not be pleased with thee, nor will the Christians, till thou follow their creed. Say: Lo! the guidance of Allah [himself] is the Guidance. And if you should follow their desires after the knowledge which has come unto thee, then you would have from Allah no protecting friend nor helper.” Sura 2 (the Cow), verse 120 There is no solution to the Palestinian problem except by Jihad. The initiatives, proposals and International Conferences are but a waste of time, an exercise in futility. The Palestinian people are too noble to have their future, their right and their destiny submitted to a vain game. As the hadith has it: “The people of Syria are Allah’s whip on this land; He takes revenge by their intermediary from whoever he wished among his worshipers. The Hypocrites among them are forbidden from vanquishing the true believers, and they will die in anxiety and sorrow.” (Told by Tabarani, who is traceable in ascending order of traditionaries to Muhammad, and by Ahmed whose chain of transmission is incomplete. But it is bound to be a true hadith, for both story tellers are reliable. Allah knows best.)
Article Fourteen: The Three Circles

The problem of the liberation of Palestine relates to three circles: the Palestinian, the Arab and the Islamic. Each one of these circles has a role to play in the struggle against Zionism and it has duties to fulfill. It would be an enormous mistake and an abysmal act of ignorance to disregard anyone of these circles. For Palestine is an Islamic land where the First Qibla and the third holiest site are located. That is also the place whence the Prophet, be Allah’s prayer and peace upon him, ascended to heavens. “Glorified be He who carried His servant by night from the Inviolable Place of worship to the Far Distant Place of Worship, the neighborhood whereof we have blessed, that we might show him of our tokens! Lo! He, only He, is the Hearer, the Seer.” Sura XVII (al-Isra’), verse 1 In consequence of this state of affairs, the liberation of that land is an individual duty binding on all Muslims everywhere. This is the base on which all Muslims have to regard the problem; this has to be understood by all Muslims. When the problem is dealt with on this basis, where the full potential of the three circles is mobilized, then the current circumstances will change and the day of liberation will come closer. “You are more awful as a fear in their bosoms than Allah. That is because they are a folk who understand not.” Sura LIX, (Al-Hashr, the Exile), verse 13.

Article Fifteen: The Jihad for the Liberation of Palestine is an Individual Obligation

When our enemies usurp some Islamic lands, Jihad becomes a duty binding on all Muslims. In order to face the usurpation of Palestine by the Jews, we have no escape from raising the banner of Jihad. This would require the propagation of Islamic consciousness among the masses on all local, Arab and Islamic levels. We must spread the spirit of Jihad among the [Islamic] Umma, clash with the enemies and join the ranks of the Jihad fighters. The ‘ulama as well as educators and teachers, publicity and media men as well as the masses of the educated, and especially the youth and the elders of the Islamic Movements, must participate in this raising of consciousness. There is no escape from introducing fundamental changes in educational curricula in order to cleanse them from all vestiges of the ideological invasion which has been brought about by orientalists and missionaries. That invasion had begun overtaking this area following the defeat of the Crusader armies by Salah a-Din el Ayyubi. The Crusaders had understood that they had no way to vanquish the Muslims unless they prepared the grounds for that with an ideological invasion which would confuse the thinking of Muslims, revile their heritage, discredit their ideals, to be followed by a military invasion. That was to be in preparation for the Imperialist invasion, as in fact [General] Allenby acknowledged it upon his entry to Jerusalem: “Now, the Crusades are over.” General Gouraud stood on the tomb of Salah a-Din and declared: “We have returned, O Salah-a-Din!” Imperialism has been instrumental in boosting the ideological invasion and deepening its roots, and it is still pursuing this goal. All this had paved the way to the loss of Palestine. We must imprint on the minds of generations of Muslims that the Palestinian problem is a religious one, to be dealt with on this premise. It includes Islamic holy sites such as the Aqsa Mosque, which is inexorably linked to the Holy Mosque as long as the Heaven and earth will exist, to the journey of the Messenger of Allah, be Allah’s peace and blessing upon him, to it, and to his ascension from it. “Dwelling one day in the Path of Allah is better than the entire world and everything that exists in it. The place of the whip of one among you in Paradise is better than the entire world and everything that exists in it. [God’s] worshiper’s going and coming in the Path of Allah is better than the entire world and everything that exists in it.” (Told by Bukhari, Muslim Tirmidhi and Ibn Maja) I swear by that who holds in His Hands the Soul of Muhammad! I indeed wish to go to war for the sake of Allah! I will assault and kill, assault and kill, assault and kill (told by Bukhari and Muslim).

By their own words they cannot and will not allow Israel to exist. And Israel must come to the understanding that they cannot allow Hamas and the PA to exist if they want to remain a free nation.

Third Day Round Up.

As the Moonbat Express Democratic Convention continues, Barack Hussein Obama made history today by becoming the first Black man to get a major party's nomination. Cheers were made all around. And still there is an undercurrent of discontent that the Obama people are quick to point out to the MSM doesn't exist (it does).

Wednesday night they had 2 major speakers. The first one was former President Bill Clinton who gave a rousing speech in support of Barack Hussein Obama. And the one thing Bill Clinton can do is give a good speech. It wasn't his best, and you could see the disappointment in him, but it did try to score a goal for his team.

Clearly, the job of the next president is to rebuild the American dream and to restore American leadership in the world.

And here's what I have to say about that. Everything I learned in my eight years as president, and in the work I have done since in America and across the globe, has convinced me that Barack Obama is the man for this job.

He has a remarkable ability to inspire people, to raise our hopes and rally us to high purpose. He has the intelligence and curiosity every successful president needs. His policies on the economy, on taxes, on health care, on energy are far superior to the Republican alternatives.

I understand that Adolf Hitler also had the ability to inspire people. And Bill Clinton's foreign policy wasn't all that great. He didn't have the blunders that Dhimmi Carter had, but his policy on Somalia has repercussions that we are still feeling now. Can anyone remember the media blitz about the troops landing on shore. Or about the downing of a Blackhawk helicopter in Mogadishu in 1993? And let us not forget his memorable handling of the Waco siege, where after a 51 day standoff, they tried to gas the Branch Davidians out. In the end 75 people were killed, 25 of them children. And we can never forget a certain intern and a certain blue dress. Bill Clinton does have an interesting legacy to say the least.

But Bill Clinton was not the main speaker of the evening. That honor was held for the Vice Presidential Nominee, Joe Biden. Joe Biden that son of working folks, that paragon of foreign policy, the man who said about Barack Hussein Obama:

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

And that was the nicest thing he had said about him. Contrast that with what he said tonight:

But John McCain doesn't seem to get it. Barack Obama gets it, though. Like many of us in this room, like many of us in this hall, Barack Obama has worked his way up. He is the great American story, you know?

I believe the measure of a man is not the road he travels but the choices he makes along that road.

While Joe Biden was in college, John McCain was a guest of the Hanoi Hilton. I guess that is a road that he wouldn't choose to travel.

He reached across party lines to pass a law that helped keep nuclear weapons out of the hands of terrorists.

And then he moved Congress and the president to give our wonderful wounded warriors the care and dignity they deserve.

Actually Obama voted against funds for the VA. Not for them. And he wasn't the author or sponsor of any bill on nuclear weapons. His vote was present. Not a rousing Yes, as Joe Biden expects you to believe.

Barack Obama's going to deliver that change, because, I want to tell you, Barack Obama will reform our tax code. He will cut taxes for 95 percent of the American people who draw a paycheck. That's the change we need.

Barack Obama will transform the economy by making alternative energy a national priority and in the process creating 5 million new jobs and finally, finally freeing us from the grip of foreign oil. That's the change we need.

Barack Obama knows that any country that out-teaches us today will out-compete us tomorrow. That's why he'll invest in the next generation of teachers and why he'll make college more affordable. That's the change we need.

Barack Obama will bring down health care costs by $2,500 for the average family and, at long last, deliver affordable, accessible health care for every American.

That's the change we need.

Barack will put more cops on the street, put security back in Social Security, and he'll never, ever, ever give up until we achieve equal pay for women.

And leap tall buildings in a single bound. How does he expect to pay for it? Take a guess.

TAXES WILL GO UP!!!

Now, let me ask you this: Whose judgment do you trust?

Should you trust the judgment of John McCain, when he said only three years ago, "Afghanistan, we don't read about it anymore in papers because it succeeded"?

Or should you believe Barack Obama who said a year ago, "We need to send two more combat battalions to Afghanistan"?

The fact of the matter is, al Qaeda and the Taliban, the people who actually attacked us on 9/11, they've regrouped in the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan and they are plotting new attacks. And the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has echoed Barack's call for more troops.

John McCain was wrong, and Barack Obama was right.

Should we trust John McCain's judgment when he rejected talking with Iran and then asked, "What is there to talk about?" Or Barack Obama, who said, "We must talk and make clear to Iran that it must change"?

Should we trust John McCain's judgment when he says we can't have no timelines to draw down our troops from Iraq, that we must stay indefinitely? Or should we listen to Barack Obama, who says shift the responsibility to the Iraqis and set a time to bring our combat troops home?

Now, after six long years, the administration and the Iraqi government are on the verge of setting a date to bring our troops home. John McCain was wrong, and Barack Obama was right.

I nearly choked on my Milkduds when I heard that. It is the same policy mistakes that Dhimmi Carter made. And we are still feeling the fallout from that 29 years later.






In Senator Biden's speech I heard the word CHANGE so many times that I thought I was listening to a maternity ward filled with dirty diapers.

The third day has ended, and the moonbats are getting ready for the final night. The night when 70,000 screaming fans supporters will be in the INVESCO Field when the anointed one finally addresses them. Will it be a Sermon on the Mount or just another stump speech. To the Obamamanics it will be as if G-d himself was speaking. To me it will be an hour wasted instead of washing my hair.